10/9/10

Today is family day at Carnegie Mellon. People are going back home to their parents for the weekend here in Pennsylvania. Also people are going back to their families back in California.

I wish I could do that.

I'm not saying that I am homesick or stuff like that. I mean, I really like it here at CMU, and I have a family here too! But having the option of just going back home for the weekend is always very nice. It's hard to believe that I won't be going back home for another six weeks, especially since I have only been here for the same amount of time. It's weird-I have two comfort zones that are on opposite sides of the country. I am sure that when I go back to Cupertino I will miss Carnegie Mellon. Fun stuff!

Also Tartini has a new flavor-guava tart. Effffff.

9/23/10

I guess I am rushing for sororities here at CMU?..

Quite odd.

Actually it is quite interesting-the sorority life here seems a lot different from other schools. Buuuut then again, what do I know? I have never been to a different school. I am pretty excited to see where I will end up/if I will even like it or not. I am entering this rush process with a wary heart and an open mind.

The most pressing question is, however..

WHAT THE FREAK AM I GOING TO WEAR? effing screwed effing eff.


also I would like to note that after 5 weeks of college my bedtime has already been moved back an hour.


also i would like to point out that my previous post was the 69th post. awesome

9/20/10

ashleyashleychenchen.tumblr.com

I KNOW I KNOW.

why am i getting a tumblr??? i am a SELLOUT BEYOND SELLOUTS! i am selling the sellouts! blogspot is my baby, etc etc

fo-reals yo. however. i am really tired of not being able to follow people as well as I would like (aka i want to be a better stalker.) also i want people to stalk me and so they can hear me whine and complain about my life. YAYY.

so I have decided to just copy/paste my posts so people can read my blogspot and/or tumblr! although really you would only have to pick one because, well, it would just be the same thing.

so lets DO THIS THANG.

9/19/10

This is my theme song

CLICHECLICHECLICHECLICHECLICHECLICHECLICHECLICHECLICHECLICHE

9/5/10

An interesting thought came to me in the shower this morning (usually I think of what to wear for the day, but today be Sunday! Time to rip out the Ashley Chen apparel):

Death, or dying, is awesome for Christians.

We are constantly fighting in this never ending spiritual war, and every single hurdle or wall that we jump or climb over, we are met with an even higher hurdle and an even bigger wall. We are tempted and tried, and all we can lean on is the fact that God is the ultimate Father in order for us to continue in this rat race we call life. I mean of course we are here for a reason and we have to live out the purpose that He has given to us, but you know what?

Heaven is going to be freaking dank (new lingo that I picked up from the East Coast-ers).

When I was in Mexico, I sometimes would stop singing/worshipping during the sessions that were organized, and just watch other people from the back of the room. Everyone was worshipping in the way that THEY wanted without any fear of judgment. On the days that I watched, all I could think about was the fact that Heaven is going to be a million times better, and I am only experiencing a fraction of God's greatness and power.

I am looking forward to the day when I will not be tempted by the Devil, when I won't be bothered by evil spirits that try to distract me from God.

I am not afraid of death. I welcome it with open arms.

9/1/10

Samved: ashley

i went shopping today

and got new nice shirts

i thought you should know hahah

Samved: i got 3 buttons up

increased my total

by

200%


SAMVED SANGAMESWARA I AM SO PROUD OF YOU. THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY DAY

8/26/10

I think I found the reason why all us first-years gain those gosh darn fifteen pounds.

Today, I ate dinner. I also ate lunch and breakfast. What's the problem, you ask?

I also ate an energy bar, a hi-chew, and a packet of asian snacks.

I also fell asleep in class today, and I am about to fall asleep now.

OKay, now that I have laid out all the facts, it is time for me to correlate them! hooray!!!

Basically, in college, you are either studying, eating, sleeping, or being social. HOWEVER. If you do not want to sleep or eat, AND if you do not want to study and being social makes you feel bad because you SHOULD be studying, what do you do?!

you eat. you eat your damn sorrows away.

or you can blog your sorrows away.

8/19/10

Well, it has been approximately 4 days of college.

Actually, it hasn't even been college! It has been welcome week!!!

I have had a good time:

-meeting new people and then promptly forgetting their names
-playing ridiculous icebreakers
-sweating it out in this freaking heat
-living 24/7 in a public space

As welcome week is winding down, I am winding up (doesn't make sense but I am trying to make a pun here, humor me) for the start of academics! We had our Academic day of welcome week today, and while everyone complained about listening to boring speeches of how awesome humanities and social sciences were, I was already PSYCHed (also another pun, as I will be majoring in psychology) because I was in a freaking lecture hall in the presence of professors who are just SO INCREDIBLY SMART and are ready to impart that knowledge to me!!!! On the downside, I had to spend money to buy textbooks, so boo for that.

I'm sure that I will not be excited about class once it actually starts, but it's ok!!! I don't think I have ever been excited for school because I would be able to learn...

Carnegie Mellon is definitely where I am supposed to be.

8/15/10

It has only been one day on the east coast, and all i can say is that...

IT IS SO HOT. AND HUMID. I MISS CALIFORNIA WEATHER :((

8/13/10

One last day.

One last day!

One last day?

It truly is bittersweet. I don't want to do the whole "I grew up so much, but let me whine about leaving in my blog so other people can sympathize with me and acknowledge my growth as a person, therefore acknowledging me and my existence" thing.

My favorite author, John Green, said in his vlog thing:

"College is a place where you are no longer a child, but you don't have to do the annoying adult stuff, like cleaning your toilet. But this in-between space gives you, for the first time in your life, time, to do things that you want to do."

Essentially, that is what I want: Time, so I can actually take classes that I want to take (and then possibly blow them off for, ohhhh, I don't know, a nap?). I am excited about becoming a faux-adult, but am petrified at the fact that I will no longer be treated like a child. My comfort cotton baby blanket is being ripped away from me to be replaced by polyester. poopie.

I am closing the book on my childhood and turning a new page in another book. (Speaking of books, I just thought of a quote that was from the beginning of a book but i forgot what book it was called, "I am the loser in the game of life." interesting.)

Yay?

Yay.

8/9/10

Bored bored bored.

I am tired, but, since I a lame person and don't want to sleep before 11, I decided to look at the Orientation schedule for CMU next week.

I am FRAKKING SCARED, DUDE!

There are so many things to do, and all these people that I have to meet. This is either going to really suck, or just partially suck. I found myself becoming less social this summer, and while having alone time is a good thing, I'm not sure that I trust myself to be normal and make friends in a whole new environment. eek!

This is the first time I have ever been scared to go to college, and it will probably not be the last. God, grant me courage!

7/27/10

When I first came to Mexico, I definitely thought that I would be grunging it up and making a direct impact on the Ensenada community.

What I actually did? I worked in the kitchen and built one house. one!

I'm not complaining, though. I am actually rejoicing. Every single time I go out somewhere for Jesus, He seems to:

1. Crush my own expectations, and then promptly
2. Blow me out of the water with His experience

I have gotten to know amazing and inspiring people who hail from all sorts of different backgrounds in different parts of the world. I have felt God show me what heaven will feel like. I may not have done things that have an immediate result, but, as I work behind the scenes, I have seen what it takes to run an operation like this.

This is not a missions trip, but an immersion into the life of a missionary. Of course, I will miss this place. Life is definitely more simple here, where people don't make long term plans on where they will be in ten years, or even what they are doing this evening! But of course, I know that God has sent me to college for a reason. I can't always stay in this bubble forever.

Adios Mexico (even though I really leave on Saturday), see you when I see you.

7/2/10

Hola!

I am typing this in the combines of Ensenada, Mexico! There isn't really anything to report here, seeing as this is only my second day at YWAM. All I can say is that the people here are SUPER nice and really into Asian people. I'm not quite sure what I will be doing, so I guess more updates on that later!

Adios!

6/28/10

Today, I received a package in the mail. From Carnegie Mellon. And by package I mean a book. And by book I mean the book "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch. And by Randy Pausch I mean the guy who put good ol' CMU on the map!!

Oh private schools. I love you.

Two more days.

6/27/10

I officially have 3 more days left until I leave...

For Mexico, that is.

I guess I am somewhat excited, but I also have a sense of bittersweet feelings that are mixed in there. I mean, I am given approximately two months of summer to spend my last days in California before I head off to Pittsburgh. However, half of that will be spent in a city where I cannot do multiple things, such as:

-speak the language (anymore)
-eat the food (to some extent)
-swim in the ocean that is right next to where I will be staying
-bond with friends that I kind of just got to know well only a couple of months ago
-hang out with the famry
-sit on my assets all day and watch movies/tv marathons

As sucky as I guess that all sounds, I can't say that I'm totally hating the idea of going to Mexico. I can still remember the nights where I could feel God's presence on the camp, and listen to testimonies that were both surprising and inspiring. I saw both miracles take place and memories form right before my eyes (wrestling anyone? I am surprised that nobody was seriously injured), and I can't wait to see what God has in store for me/chris/timmy.

Adios, amigos y amigas. I will see you soon! And by you I mean the remaining handful of people that actually read this. And by soon, I mean Sonoma (John and Clare, hello!)

6/16/10

I would like to point out that today was the first day I cheated on a computer game. I kicked some MAJOR BUTT in age of empires. Oh cobras and star wars figurines of which I do not know the name of (storm troopers?), why are you so tempting and yet so frakking awesome?

It is definitely really easy to cheat, I realize now, when nobody is looking. I think the idea of cheating is all relative. I mean, if everyone eventually uses the cheats in AoE and beats the game, it's not really cheating now, is it?

Once I played Super Smash Bros Melee, and this guy who used Samus would always kick butt and I had no idea why, until I peeked at what his hands were doing to the controller and it turned out that he was using the C-stick to use the smash moves. CHEATERRR.

Anyways, it is 11PM. I exercised today for the first time ever since the end of school, and I don't think I ever felt like puking so much from eating. OH PIZZA MY HEART, WHY ARE YOUR FREE PIZZA SLICES SO BAD TO MY BODY?!

Sometimes I wish that bad food was healthy for you.

As you can see, I am really just documenting what is going through my mind. At All-Nighter at YG, I was forced to stall for like 15 minutes, and I actually just talked about nothing. It was really weird, like this blog, I guess.

Last night I dreamed that I had to organize Snow Retreat again, and I had to plan all of the food stuff because the people at Camp Chinquapin didn't do food services, and when we got there they refused to make our food, and whatever MAC did to convince them otherwise they got HELLLA PISSED. then I woke up, and was scared that I was going to be late for VBS.

blarghy blarghy blarghy lbargh.jkhawljhgaekljh

6/3/10

I can't remember what I was feeling when I was about to take my first steps as a high school freshman, but I hope I remember this feeling of almost graduating as a high school senior.

Again, I think it is this discomfort I have with my unknown future. I know now that I am not as confident that I would like to be, not as skinny as I would like to be, and definitely not as funny as I think I am, so of course there are doubts flowing through my head about being accepted and wanted as a person. These are all basic needs that probably every single senior feels as they go to college. However, it is hard to believe that fact, and easy to believe that it is going to be me against the world. Quite a scary thought. God, please grant me the strength to get through all of this unnecessary (but really, necessary) emotion. I want to FEARLESSLY TAKE ON THE WORLD! i love cliches.

one more day until the end

6/1/10

3 more days.

I think I am split between wanting to get out of high school ASAP because I am sick and tired of the busy work and feeling nostalgic and kind of wishing that I could do it all over again. I am glad to say that I have accomplished a lot of the things I wanted to do in Monta Vista:

-MVSNL
-Homecoming
-win a rally
-lose a rally
-DECA
-Leadership
-Get a job
-A in APUSH
-ETCETCETC.

I am usually not the type to be nostalgic, but I think I realized today that I am finally at peace with the things that I wanted to do at MV but never did. On top of that, I will be moving for the first legitimate time to a new home in a completely new environment. I don't think nostalgia is just remembering the past, but actually an indirect fear of the future because your comfort zone is vanishing in 72 hours.

I am definitely scared of what the future will bring me, but as I review the montage of memories in my 4 years of high school, I can't help but feel like God had me every step of the way. I now kind of know who I am, and I can say that God has already known where I would be headed and everything seemed to fall into place perfectly. I am scared, but I am excited, because I know that I will embark on an adventure that God has for me, and it will be BAWSSSSOME.

Forever Young - A Farewell to the MVHS Class of 2010. from Minh Bui on Vimeo.

Props to Minh Bui for making this yo!

5/19/10

I find it really cool when:
-earplugs actually MOLD TO YOUR EARS!
-I get to find new music that barely anyone else knows
-other people can touch their toes, b/c i can't
-it is windy outside! (HA.)
-I can walk through Kennedy and have people look at me weirdly because I don't look like a middle school kiddo anymore!
-my veins can pop out of my arms like I work out all the time
-i can see what my desk looks like without layers of paper
-I have the ability to now indulge in my favorite anti-social activity: reading!
-there is enough time in my day to think about things that are really cool

I guess this can also be a list of things I am thankful for, because being thankful is being cool!

5/15/10

5+1+5=11.

oh dear.

Well anyways, yesterday was senior ditch day, and instead of going to the beach like a lot of people did, I hung out with THE COOLEST PEOPLE EVER! (sans chris and timmy.JK)

However, when I look at all of the fb pics of panther beach and such, I can't help but feel somewhat left out. I think it was partly because I didn't feel like I would fit in as much as I would like, etc etc cue my list of insecurities (INCLUDING: pale skin, flab, being socially awkward).

As much as I would like to be more "popular" or whatever, I think the turn of events in my life has led me to be someone who enjoys friendship, but doesn't pine for a mass amount of friends/people that know me. I mean, sure, it is nice to have, but always going out instead of watching chuck at home? Dude. Too much work. Maybe this is what people call introverted? Or just lazy.

I guess what I mean to say is, it sucks, but WHATEVER! I still am able to find joy as well as tons of fun doing other things. Ashley Chen's feelings of insecurities, you can SUCK IT.