Thursday, March 18, 2010


In leadership, we watched this one video about a crazy guy that starts dancing, and it eventually turns into a "movement" or whatever. The url is above! But yeah, we had to write this bloggy reflection and I decided, hey, why not just post what I wrote onto my blog? kekeke.

After watching this video, I definitely had a lot going through my head about how this applies to me. Many people have labeled me as a “leader” my whole life, and I think that I have come to accept that “leadership” qualities that have been identified in other people as a part of myself. I guess, in my current state of teen angst and rebellion, it’s hard to see if that part of my own character exists within me.

This senior year has been quite interesting because of that. My dream of being a class officer was realized. I was a public official, and therefore, easy to follow. However, I started to see that my previous ideas of being a leader did not apply at all. I started to question myself: am I truly a leader? Or am I just a follower that happened to end up with friends that are involved in these school activities? I spoke up less and less in class, and my previous goal of getting my teacher to become BFFs with me faded into a new goal of breezing through my classes as a “quiet Asian girl” that nobody remembers after a couple of years. I guess this crazy transformation that I am currently going through is a little, well, crazy, but it’s hard to get myself out of this slump.

One thing that definitely know is that, however much I would like to deny my leadership qualities, I want my voice to be heard. I want to see my own dreams become realities, and what better way to do that than to get a bunch of other people to do it with you? I guess this is the un-glorified definition of a leader: a crazy person that has the insatiable need to be followed, liked, and well-received by his/her peers.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


Today I learned that my brother has started taking kung-fu lessons.

That might just be the bawss-est thing I have ever heard.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Snow Retreat 2010

It has been almost a month since my very last snow retreat ended, and I guess it's finally time for that traditional rant. Originally, I told myself that I wouldn't write one of these this year because I wanted to keep my thoughts on the private side, and apparently I "have better things to do with my time". Still true for the first half, definitely not true for the second half. My senioritis has gotten so bad that yesterday, I downloaded and played Age of Empires II for 3 HOURS. and then I watched Chuck.

random tangent end.

Anyways, snow retreat. I actually started working on snow retreat in 2009, when I teamed up with MAC and Grace to start making stuff happen. In retrospect, a lot of the Snow Retreat planning stuff ended up running smoothly, so props to MAC and Grace and the rest of the team for that. Thanks, guys :)

So yes. Things I learned about God/me from snow retreat:

-Slow down! I definitely realized that I have been slowly inching away from God by immersing myself through activities, surprisingly, through the Church. It's easy to plan things and not be able to step out and see the whole picture.

-Prayer performs miracles. I definitely think that this year's real theme should have been something like this, or at least something about prayer. Our worship team actually prayed on Sunday night and Monday night, and, to me, God definitely answered our prayers. He did what I thought would be impossible-people actually opened up and drank up His beautiful glory.

-God will always provide a way out. I guess this is related to that infamous Monday night. I had to play piano for around 3 hours, and I was not looking forward to it at all. I realize now that I have ended up viewing my musical abilities as a chore instead of an act of worship. As our worship team gathered in the back, I could not help but feel exhausted. I don't think I have ever been more physically, emotionally, and spiritually spent, and all I wanted to do was to sleep. But, when people actually started praying for me (cue the waterworks), I felt energized and completely at peace for the rest of my duration up on stage (it's actually pretty neat, the moment we finished, I was back to being tired). There really is no other way to describe that night, other than cliche, because the experience of that night is overused by everyone who was there that evening. That's a good thing though.

-and, on a lighter note, watch out for random bumps on the slopes that will SCREW YOUR PERFECT RUN. I am still bitter.

I am glad that I never really got any emotional high from this retreat, because I am now able to actually see what God was able to teach me. I will miss Snow Retreat? I guess I'm just scared that I will become a statistic, and be one of the 8 out of 10 that fall away because I won't have these mid-year retreats at college.

the end.