2/3/09

I think my parents have come down with something.  I'm not sure what it is (possibly a virus), so I am going to classify the possible "thing" as an Ashley Chen biological discovery!!

Potatous-Couchius (virus)

From the family of: Lazyoploious

Symptoms:

-Influx of asian snacking. This includes: Sunflower seeds, asian chips, seaweed that you ate when you were a kid for snacks, smoked tofu, Oranges, Apples, Pumalo (left to ripen after being bought for Chinese New Year), Bell Pepper, Cucumber, and Toast.

-Lack of interest for surroundings. Yesterday, I asked them if I could watch HEROES because apparently the episode was freakin' awesome.  Here is the conversation (duly recorded):

"Ummm Mom can I watch a tv show that starts, like, now?"

"It's recorded, don't worry about it."  Now, Mom is actually watching a recorded show herself, and obviously does not want to be bothered.

"Oh, okay. When are you going to be done?"

"Don't you have homework to do? You ARE a junior, you know, and junior year...*goes into a schpeal about junior year that has been heard many times*"  See? You can tell-her underlying meaning is : DON'T BOTHER ME. Now, Dad is there too, munching away at his...whatever he eats. I wouldn't know, since they all seem to disappear after he touches them...

"No, Mom. I meant WHEN WILL YOU BE FINISHED??"

"Ohh humm...*long pause* 11, at the earliest?" GREAT.

Lack of interest for physical movement (this includes looking at screens that are NOT televisions).  For example, today...

"Mommmm can you come here?" (repeated 2-3 times)

"WHAT. I'm already sitting down on the couch." (Well, I'm already sitting down on my chair looking at my computer, but due to the lack of interest in surroundings symptom, it is not taken into account)

*After finally getting up to go show off my wonderful find (kudos to Brad)*

"See? Don't you like this car? It's so pretty! Look! And it's only $2800(slight movement of the eyes)"

"Why would I want to pay for a car that is $28,000? What's wrong with our car now?"

"Mom, it's $2800."

"EVEN WORSE! Do you want a car that breaks down all of the time?!? Don't you have homework to do? You know, junior year..."

Cures

None. Unless you disconnect the asian news channel, asian historical fiction dramas, korean soap operas (translated into chinese of course), and the Jim Cramer, the Mad Money guy.

Is it transferrable within species?

Not unless they watch the channels listed above.

Now, I'm not saying that I hate my parents. I think they're great. But of course, we all like to poke fun at them in order to make ourselves feel better about ourselves (but, in the end, does not work, so don't try it because the wrath of infected parents will rain down upon you).  So, my solution? Crack open a pack of AMERICAN snack foods, and prepare to fight your way to the lovely remote.

Gosh, I sure hope this ends up in the Encyclopedia Britannica. Or a Nobel Prize.  That would be good too.