Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Snow Retreat (2/14-2/17)

Now, I know there will be lots of posts of summaries of Snow Retreat, what parts were the best, inside jokes that nobody gets, and how it was just non-stop snow the whole time.  I do have my share of those memories, but I think I would rather share about the emotional impact that this retreat had on me.  So, if you were looking for a funny and shallow view of how I spent my President's Day weekend, look somewhere else.

"Lord Jesus come lead us
We're desperate for your touch"-Reign In Us, Starfield

I would have to say that I was not at all prepared for any spiritual revival, because, honestly, I had become apathetic to Christianity, disgusted at the church I attended, and hardend at the "feel-good" emotional highs and lows that come after the retreat which usually last a week.  It was weird too, that ever since the Leadership development day with Cross the Line, I wondered why I never cried unless it was out of frustration. At first, I commended myself for professionally hiding my emotions, because I was honing myself to be a great corporate executive, and therefore, didn't really need God's touch to change my life, because, hey, it seemed to me that my life was in pretty good order. So when I did go to snow retreat, I did not have any expectations (except that registration was going to kick butt).  
I think I can honestly say that I shed more tears throught this snow retreat than I have in months.  It ranged from tearing up to a full blown sobbing, I want my mommy kind of deal.  And I think that each tear that I shed was a piece of the wall of ambition that I built up against God and his ability to break me and make me something new.  Although I would not call this whole retreat "life-changing", I definitely know what it means to earnestly seek God and hear his voice.

To non-Christians, I hope I didn't freak you out.  I am not perfect, and already know that I will do something that makes you think that Christians are all hypocrites.  I sincerly apologize in advance, as well as instances that have happened in the past. I pray that you will just have an open heart, and just give this whole Christianity deal another look.  For believers of Jesus, I pray that God may break you.  Even if it takes a lot of pruning and pain, always remember that God will always be near you, and if you seek Him, it is the most rewarding and humbling experience that you will ever go through. 

2 Corinthians 5:13-15

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  1. Thanks, Ashley, for posting this. I give praise to God for what He has revealed to you. I will keep on praying for you and that election you're preparing for.

  2. I'm really glad that you found God during the retreat and I hope you continue to break down any barriers that you still have with God. We are all human and each of us have different walls that are dividing us from God. But God is always there for us when we seek him. talk to me sometime. bye!

  3. Ashley, I love you. I know God loves you too. I'm so encouraged by you posting all this and I'm praying for God to guide you through what you are learning. Do not let Him fade like an overly emotional high. He's there. Sprint after him =)