12/16/09

The early decisions have arrived, and where did I get in?!?

Nowhere.

Actually it's because I didn't apply anywhere for early decision. Did I scare you there?! good.

But all of this early decision-ing and admissions and rejections are really poking at my noodle. My college application process is definitely a different process than what I thought it would be. I thought I was going to major in business and ed somewhere. Instead, I am applying to a horrendous amount of privates with a declared major in psychology; all regular decision. It's interesting to see where God is taking me on this (less than) spectacular journey. This is definitely a huge lesson from the BIG Man Upstairs that I am never in control of my life. However, it sure is hard to be completely at ease with the fact that I may not even make it into Cal-Poly SLO. -____________- maybe I should have early decision-ed there.

On a more interesting note, when I applied to USC, I actually was bold enough to write down the url of my blog. I wonder if they actually look at it. Hi USC!

12/12/09

Today during lunch, I asked my brother how rainbows were made. He said that God drew them on the sky with crayons and the rain blurred the lines together. When I told him the rainbow went away, he said that God had erased it.

cutie!

12/6/09

It is December.

It is December, and I don't think I have ever felt this cold before. Like, seriously, I wake up and cringe at the weather reports because the temperature never goes above 60 now. My toes are always cold, my nose is always cold, and I have to wear longsleeves. EWWW. Is it just me, or do your arms feel suffocated when there is more than one layer on your forearms?

It is December, and I can't see the beautiful mahogany color on my desk. It is under layers upon layers of paper, magazines, college application essay drafts, and books. Today I tried looking for my lit essay rubric and found a Lifetouch check for $50. I then found my rubric, and lost the check (I can't help feel that it is stuck in a book somewhere).

But...

IT'S DECEMBER!!!

Hooray :) that means Christmas season is here! I basically walk around with a fatty grin on my face because I listen to 96.5 (aka CHRISTMAS SONGS IN DECEMBER) all the time. But secretly. NPR and Christmas songs are my secret radio stations; if someone else is in the car with me, I have some weird feeling to change it to 94.9.

This year, I was unfortunately too busy to set up the Christmas tree. The Chen clan Christmas tree is at least my age-every year we bring it down from the attic and marvel at the odd smell and discolored plastic, and every year we talk about buying legit evergreen trees. But, lo and behold, it ends up standing next to the piano, restored to its annual glory. I love Christmas :)

I guess the best thing about December is the people. Especially this year!! College peeps come back, relatives meet up, and friends chill together! I am SOOOOPER excited this year because I will be a second semester senior! I've even made a list of things that I will accomplish starting December 18th:

1. FINISH COLLEGE APPS.
2. Do the Costco Challenge (10 bucks=how much food you can buy from the outside cafeteria)
3. BLOG LIKE A MANIAC
4. Eat spam
5. How I Met Your Mother Marathon

SO that is all. Yays and Nays of this month. I need to finish my lit essay now. TA TAAA

11/30/09

I have been working at Subway for close to four months now. I remember thinking, when I started working, "Hey! I am TOTALLY going to lose some weight cause I'm eating all those sandwiches!"

Oh boy, was I wrong.

Since then, my tummy has only gotten bigger when the sammiches have gotten smaller and smaller. For awhile, I even tried eating the garden patties that they have (not too shabby btdubs.) but I realized that they were not even advertised as healthy. Then, I switched to only the subs listed on the napkins. Now, I don't know about that guy on the TV doing all of that advertising, but the napkin-listed subs taste like crap. I mean, the only edible thing there is the oven-roasted chicken breast, and even that looks like a meat frisbee. So now, I make my own variations of the existing subs, and ignore the caloric taunts from the napkins I wipe my mouth with.

Now, why a Subway post now? you ask. Well, today was the first time in a LONGG time when I ever actually felt sick of those delicious sammies. I also weighed myself today, and only GAINED WEIGHT. A little part of me wants to place all of the blame on the Thanksgiving turkeys and the ginormous amounts of food that I down four times a day. But no, I must face the facts. Stupid Subway.


i hate you.

11/13/09

Today is Friday the 13th. WOOOOO.

A lot of people were like, "OH EM GEE. I am having the crappiest day ever! Must be because today is the day after thursday the 12th."

I donno about them, but I think my day was not that bad. Well, the day isn't over yet, but YA KNOW.

I submitted my first college application today. WOO Cal Poly! go mustangs (it's sad that I had to google what the mascots for cal poly were.). I realized just how easy applying to college could be, but, alas, our mini-society has made it so that Cal Poly SLO has become my backup, and Ivy League schools my target. (Actually, Ivies are my reach, but I WISH!) Oh society.

I learned this on Friday the 13th. Poop. I wish i learned this on the 14th.

10/31/09

HALLOWEEN!

My first legit one ever! I actually made a costume and went trick or treating!

The only time I remember going trick or treating was when I was 5 or something. I remember walking to like 4 houses before going back home, and my parents took all of my candy too! >:( NOpe. defffff not bitter. I think sometimes I would dress up on the day before halloween at school or the day of halloween, but I stopped after I realized that beanies and sunglasses don't equal gangster. Oh sixth grade. Why are you so embarrassing to me?!

Yeah come to think of it, my middle school years are like the epitome of the word awkward. I wore man pants and Ross clothing (not that Ross is bad cause I don't want to offend anyone, but yeahh I had like 4 shirts that had monkeys on them that looked like paul frank knock offs and there was like a quote about something about girl power.) and thought that I should have been invited to every party but there just weren't any so it was okay (actually there were parties. I just wasn't invited.). I think it would be interesting to go back to middle school and kind of redo a lot of the things that I did. Like, what if I hung out with different people, and what if I didn't break up with so and so after a month or something? Or what if I actually did a sport? Who knows. Isn't life interesting? Now, if I could condense everything I think about into a 500 word essay...

10/15/09

HOMECOMING POST! even though hc is already over. BUT this is not a "hey what did we do during homecoming etc etc" because if you really needed a blog to tell you what happened you DO NOT DESERVE IT. you should have been there to experience it!

anyways. let us commence.

I think every year I actively participate in homecoming, I end up getting hurt. Come to think of it, I DO.

Okay, I didn't reallly actively participate in freshman year, but during sophomore year, I tried racing someone to Kennedy on a bike and ended up getting a NASTTYYY burn thingy on my elbow when I tried to turn. and it wasn't even the right place to turn into! Fail. I think it ended up getting infected.

During junior year, I was in my big longboarding phase, but i never went down hills (so technically, it wasn't really longboarding, just push-yourself-on-a-piece-of-wood-uphill-barding) so, when I went down the Wilsons' hill (in retrospect, it wasn't even a hill. it was a tiny slope. like embarassingly tiny) I got scared of going too fast and tried to stop, but ended up like tripping or something and basically falling off my board. I had to go back to MV cause it was the DECA LDC (leadership development conference) and had to lead an activity, and throughout the activity, i swear, there were like 5 people that I thought had an answer to one of my questions, but all they said was, "Uhhh your arm is bleeding." Thank you, captain obvious.

OKay, so I go through six weeks of homecoming madness, and towards the end, I came out almost unscathed: one scratch on my chin from chicken wire. I didn't fall or anything, so I considered it a success, even after float setup and all of that madness was over. But it was too soon, because the very day after the night of HC, what do I find? Multiple scratches, bruises, AND a swollen fingertip! I mean, WTF. I don't even know how I got them. Well, the scratches and bruises are healing nicely, but that finger thing is just crazy. It turns out that my finger got infected! I don't even know how! Actually I think I do. I probably got a splinter stuck in there and it got infected. Oh San Mateo Truck Rentals. Why do your trucks suck? Anyways, it got so bad that I ended up performing minor surgery on myself. OH my goodness it was so ghetto. I took a needle and sterilized it by holding it over a candle flame (come to think of it, the flame probably wasn't very clean either since the tip of the needle was always black from the soot) and then i basically poked my finger multiple times until, all of a sudden, the great volcano of white pus gross-ness just like ERUPTED. oh gee. it was disgusting. I will spare you the details, not like how homecoming spares my body.

ohh speaking of gross pus stuff, i was browsing youtube and wasting time, and then i found THISlike seriously, if you can handle this, go watch 2 girls 1 cup and let me know how it goes:

like seriously, if you can handle this, go watch 2 girls 1 cup and let me know how it goes.

10/3/09

I think whenever I get involved with professional sports/sports team, the team I root for ends up losing. Examples:

Elementary school: 49ers vs Raiders

My family freaking had a Superbowl party, and we all wore black and grey. The Raiders lost. But the commercials were good. But, come to think of it, I didn't root for the commercials. Only the team.

Middle School: Steelers vs Seahawks

I rooted for the Seahawks. By then nobody in my family watched the Superbowl anymore, and there I was, sitting on the hardwood floor working on my DNA project for 7th grade science, watching the Steelers beat the crap out of the Seahawks. It was a lovely moment.

High School: USC vs. Cal

So today, I dressed up in blue (I didn't have a Cal shirt :( ) and headed off to floatbuilding, and argued with multiple people about how Tommy the Trojan was going to get his head bitten off by the Cal bear (figuratively). I even recorded the game! But after watching 2 quarters, I was so depressed by the score that I ended up looking up the score online. (The bears lost) Well, at least I didn't bet on the game; this one guy at floatbuilding said he bet $100 bucks (that he didn't even have) that Cal would beat USC 16-9. The score was 30-3, trojans.

I sure hope whichever college I go to doesn't have a football team, because if they do, they are in deep trouble.

9/5/09

I think, sometimes, when people always get things handed to them on silver platters, that they tend to complain about things that are "fair" and "unfair". And I admit, I sometimes do that too. But is it just me, or do people always expect things to go their ways?

Take for example, class t-shirts. I would say, like every year, there is at least ONE class that has the party poopers, and complain about how HORRIBLE and UGLY and REPULSIVE the shirt is. Do you think they ever wonder how much time and effort it took for the artist? Take for example, this comment.

"OMG i just looked at the "chosen one" and holy moly! it's absolutely awful and i'm not wearing it. while it's not the absolute worst, it's certainly not even close to the best. i say revote because it's just hideous."

Wow. If I was the artist, I don't even know where to begin with my emotions. I wonder if the author of that comment has the guts to actually say that to someone else's face. Probably not.

Is there a solution to all of this? Yes! Stop being such narrow-minded _______ (you can fill that word in yourself). Again, I'm not saying this to make myself look better or whatever, cause I'm a ______ sometimes too.

9/4/09

It's sad to see what "hanging out" in Cupertino has been reduced to.

Today, I went to go "hang out" with some buds (Chris and Panos). Dinner? Paneras. After dinner activity? Target.

Embarassing.

I mean, it got so bad that I even saw my parents at Target. They were "hanging out" too! WTF.

Well, at least I got some productive stuff done at Target. I bought a box of Lucky Charms! yay for research :) Here are my finds:

-They have this new charm: the hourglass! it kinda looks like a bra without the straps.

-Marshmallow charms taste the best when they are soggy

-Not marshmallow charm cereal do not taste best when they are soggy.

-There is this Target brand cereal called: Marshmallow cereal. Why wasn't that our Homecoming theme instead?

Oh btdubs. There is this NEW NERF GUN AT TARGET! ohh my. it fires 20 darts in rapid fire mode. BEAST.

8/21/09

So the Homecoming 2010 theme is....CEREALS!!

I know, I know, you must be thinking, "oh gee. creative NOT. how lame is that??" Actually, it is not lame! The more you think about it, the more you realize that a simple thing such as cereal is so much more than a bowl, milk, a spoon, and loads of carbs. It's like the completion of putting on your outer self before you go out into the world. Don't get it? Let me explain.

This summer, I took a sociology class where we talked about this thing called dramaturgy. Dramaturgy, according to Mr. Webster, is this: the art or technique of dramatic composition and theatrical representation.

oh dear. not exactly what I was looking for.

okay according to my sociology textbook, it is "an approach, pioneered by Erving Goffman, in which social life is analyzed in terms of drama or the stage; also called dramaturgical analysis"

so basically, we are all a part of a play, and according to this, you can argue that going through the motions in the morning ( i.e, shower, brushing your teeth, getting dressed) is like getting ready for your play. You go through your dress rehearsal when you imagine what you will be wearing/doing the next day, and feeling good for the rest of your day is basically like instilling confidence before you step out onto the stage. So in a sense, eating cereal is like the last part of the prelude to the play. Is this interesting? I was stuck at school from like 11 in the morning to 10 at night. shoot, not interesting.

ANYWAYS. the point of this post was not to talk about the deep meanings of cereal! it was about the themes for homecoming! anyways here they are:

freshmen: honey-nut cheerios (class color: teal)

sophs: cap'n crunch (class color: pink)

juniors: fruit loops (class color: lime green)

SENIORS: LUCKY CHARMS! (class color: PURPLE)

Before deciding on the theme, I wasn't actually excited for homecoming. I was actually dreading it-who wants to spend 6 weeks working on something that looks like glitter puked on after it had food poisoning? But I guess now, i'm excited to see what we, as a class, are all imagining in our brains on this topic and seeing it being displayed on a fatty truck bed.

I'm not very good at crafts.

8/20/09

I think it sucks sometimes when I come up with really good ideas but then I lack a fatty part of the thing to make it idea work. Okay that seems like a really weird sentence so let me explain:

I just came back from breakfast at the whitest place around cupertino with the whitest food in my stomach-country inn's biscuits and gravy (its funny cause the biscuits and gravy were white. hah.) and instead of getting started on my college app stuff like I told myself I was supposed to do, I ended up playing guitar. In fact, as I am typing this, the pick is in between my teeth because I am too lazy to put it down on the table. Oh Ashley, why are you so weird?

Anyways, I was just messing around with the chords when BING BANG BOOM Ashley's secret musical genius exploded! actually not really. it was more like oh hey this actually sounds decent i wish i could write a song that fit with these chords. But, when I started to think of things to write about, my musical genius DISAPPEARED. noooooo

So now, I am halfway to writing my first song. I have music! but no melody or lyrics. okay just kidding. I am a third of the way done. the end.

I heard that some people don't poop in public and they only poop at home. but what if they go to college? they wont get home until like 3 months later. ewwwwwww

8/18/09

Okay so I was at first going to write about the specific people that I didn't get to speak for at Grad Night but I TOTALLY wanted to, but as I was writing, it seemed really hard to put it in words, because, honestly all you 09ers, words cannot describe how much I love you all and how much I will miss you guys. When I was with you peeps, it felt like I knew you all like we were family friends when I only met you guys in like 7th grade at the earliest.

oh gee. this is quite hard. i don't think I have ever tried this hard to think about what to write here. I mean this requires me to think of the trillions of inside jokes and memories that I have had with you all, and my memory sucks. I barely remembered what happened last year (welllll except that we beat you guys at the homecoming rally. OKAY OKAY sorry this is supposed to be a serious post about honoring you guys instead of talking about the prowess of 2010). okay.

Anyways I don't want to name names or whatever cause it will seem unfair but I really will miss you guys. You have all been great to me, and now it feels like a part of me is leaving too. I wish you all the best, and when you get famous don't forget me!! i'll keep your signatures with me so that I can sell them on ebay for millions.

8/10-8/12 part 3

Day 3:

So it was freaking hot in the sleeping bag. I decided that the mosquitos can go die in a hole and that I need to have my skin come in contact with cold air. So, of course, I wake up with like a gajillion mosquito bites. Well, not that many. More like 30.

So I woke up with bug bites, a sore body, blue toe, and fatty blisters the size of my pinky. What a great day!

I think Victor wanted me to go faster, so he was like, here let me just take your stuff. Although I don't think I would have gone any slower with that pack, I definitely got the message. But, even though my mind said go, my feet felt like, like, I don't even know how to describe it. It's like eating a habanero pepper, but transfer the feeling to your toe. Like, for guys I guess, being hit in the nuts every time you walked downhill (but I wouldn't know what it feels like because I'm not a guy! Actually one time someone hit me in the groin area, like my ovaries or something, and it hurt like a MOTHER.).

The first part of the hike was uphill, so I got to go faster because my two friends (NOT my boobs. my feet you perv.) weren't crying out in pain. However, when the downhill terrain started, I was in for a HARD time (WOW. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING. go wash your mind out with soap.) It was nice, though, that Victor always walked behind me even though I was really slow. I remember this one time Victor and I passed by Andy, and Victor told Andy to step it up because Ashley has blisters and the moleskin didn't work. I think his words helped both Andy and me-Andy ended up being first to the beach, and I walked faster. yay for manning up!

We finally reached the big creek/stream thing, marking the halfway point. The rest of the trip would be on flat road. I was in so much pain that I decided I would go barefoot. At first, there was a part of me that said, "Ashley that is the stupidest idea I have ever heard. Just because you read it in a book does NOT mean that you can apply it to life. For example, you read Harry Potter, but you can't go to Hogwarts dummy!" But I did it anyways, and, for a small part of the hike, it worked! Well, until there were sharp rocks and horse poop. Then I switched to John's flip flops.

We were pretty close to finishing when we realized that Sam and Larry had fallen behind-not like 5 minutes behind, but like someone got eaten by a bear behind. I'm not too sure what happened, but it turns out that Larry almost fell off a cliff or something. I don't even know how to wrap up this paragraph with that because it's so O_O.

When we reached the beach, nobody had service, so we were stranded there for about 2 hours. I guess I wouldn't really call it being stranded, because it was actually really nice. I got to really reflect on our trip, and it really seemed like we could write/film a story/movie about this. It was so sentimental too! Victor, Timmy, John, Clare, and I were all sitting in a row on the sand watching the sunset, and you could totally see the movie screen fade to black and everything.

Anyways, I definitely think that this trip was awesome. If we ever had to do it again, though, I am buying a mule to carry me there.

8/10-8/12 part 2

Day 2:

Clare and I woke the group up with massive telling of secrets, like-HAH. you thought I would actually tell you what the secrets are. no way jose. they are embarassing!! anyways. we set off on our second day. by now i had already developed blisters on my feet and the big toenail on my left foot had turned blue. like someone took blue nail polish and painted it blue. I dont really remember much of the second day, mainly because my feet were in so much pain. I remember how my brain was operating, though, on each mile-

miles 1 and 2: alright! i can do this! i dont even have any bug bites yet, and larry has a gajillion on the back of his neck. ew. hahah clare's secrets. etc etc etc

miles 3-4: oh eff. this kind of hurts. crapp. ouch. shoot.

miles 5-8: **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** (yep. it was pretty nasty. oh ashley. you need to wash your brain out with some SOAP!)

*oh by the way somewhere in here we stopped for lunch and almost caused a forest fire with the stoves that we had, but i think if we actually did cause a forest fire, i wouldnt have been able to move*

miles 9-10: AWWWW HECKKKK YES the CAMP!! SHOWERS! ACTUAL FOOD.

So we camped at the big basin headquarters, where the mosquitos roamed and showers cost 25 cents for 2 minutes of heaven. that night, i finally got to use a mirror, and i must admit, 2 days without a shower is pretty disgusting. That night, we slept under the stars again, except this time, Victor and I switched sleeping bags. but the problem was, it was HOT. like, so hot that i wore a tshirt and sweatpants only because i didnt have any shorts to sleep in. Although I didn't wake up as many times as the night before, i distinctly remember my face in clare's shoulder and john's face REALLY close to me. haha and all because of ONE person!! ;)

8/10-8/12 part 1

This blog post will come in 3 parts because i'm afraid my butt will flatten out if i keep sitting on my chair typing for this long of a post. if you put all 3 back to back it is prettyyy long.

I embarked on a journey that many dream of, but few accomplish: backpacking. I, along with 7 other people (Clare, John, Victor, Timmy, Sam, Larry, Andy-Larry's cousin) would go on a 3 day trip and hike 30 miles across the Santa Cruz mountains and through Big Basin to a beach whose pronounciation is still unclear (WAD-dell? wad-DELL? WA-d-D-el-L?) I would be showerless for approximately 2 days, and the only shower that i would be able to have would be where capitalism reigned supreme (the shampoo cost $3.50 and it was a travel size bottle). I would not have internet service. Hence, as I am writing this, my muscles are spazzing out and my toe is crying out in pain (more on that later). SO, here are my distinct memories of the things that we did.

Day 1:

So, in a fit of wanting to be fashionably late, I ended up arriving last (not the definition of fashionably late) to Victor's house. oops! embarassing. anyways I brought along my pack and everyone was like WTF ASHLEY WHY IS YOUR PACK SO SMALL AND SO LIGHT yadda yadda. We left for Saratoga gap, where we would begin hiking. We all arrived at a parking lot and set off on our trip. We took our first break after hiking a quarter of a mile. After hiking for about 4 hours, we realized that we were running incredibly short on water. Well, I guess it wasn't THAT big of a deal cause the highway was like, right next to our trail. AND there were houses. So anyways we decided to send Sam, Larry, Timmy, and i think John? to find us some water by knocking on people's door. I think Larry paid 3 bucks for a gallon of tap water. oh dear. So now we start to carefully ration our water because Victor didn't know if our campsite had running water, and the creek that ran through the trail was on private property. All of a sudden, we reached the end of our trail (and the end of the park). it turned out that we were going the WRONG WAY and in the OPPOSITE DIRECTION of our actual trail. we ended up walking along the highway (which was not highway 9 but something like 35) and knocked on this random house. This dude who looked like santa claus came out and basically said SURE use the hose for water and if you all can fit in my acura sedan i'll take you guys back to where you were supposed to start. haha i dont think i have ever felt that lucky. so with some hard thinking , we ended up fitting everyone in this TINY car and started over. we reached the actual camp (which had clean running tap) at like 7.

That night, half of the people were cold and the other half were hot. I was effin FREEZING. I remember i woke up multiple times to put on different articles of clothing (sweatshirt, hat, hood of the sweatshirt) and, in a fit of desperation, said to Victor (who actually, for the record, was like ashley are you awake first), "dude. i need you to put your legs on my feet. i am so cold." haha victor was so nice-he did. So nobody really got any sleep except maybe Andy, and we all just stared at the trees and wondered how some of the leaves bunched up to look like ninjas.

7/29/09

Curse you internet.

Okay honestly, I REALLLYYY should be doing actual productive stuff right now. oh gee. anyways well here is my excuse on why I am not doing what I am supposed to be doing: I got sidetracked by everyone else's blogs and said to myself, "hey, why don't I post too?" As I am writing this, I can definitely imaging the two figments of my imagination (angel and devil?) sitting on my shoulder while I am writing this. Here is how the conversation would go:

Angel: you know, if you're trying to be creative about this blog post, why don't you take that creativity and apply it to the grad night script, like you should be doing? Holds up my to-do list (ahh spoiler alert to all HOC5 seniors! well not really. but now you know, we have a video.)

Devil/demon/whatver. it's red and it has horns: oh puleeze. you were already so productive today! you wrote out an agenda for your internship and changed the food for the birds! that already crosses out 2 things on your to-do list! and who cares about SATs and college stuff?!

Angel: You know Ashley, while you are writing this, I can already sense that this conversation is getting nowhere. You should end it here before it gets worse and people have to burn their computer for your lack of blogging skill and horrible writing, not to mention a story line worthy of being a new show on abc family (HINT: THIS MEANS ITS BAD)

oh dear. that really was bad. you know, maybe our brains aren't at our heads. I think they're at our butts. Therefore, the more we sit on a chair for long periods of time, our brains get flatter and more 2D instead of 3D, squishing out the part of the brain that makes awesome. So what is in the head? Silly reader, where else would the angel and devil live?

Yeah i know, I bet you were like "dude. I totally called it." of course you would! What else would I write for abc family?

7/11/09

Please.

Do not watch Bruno.

Please.

6/28/09

Even after AP tests and finals are over, all of my summer goals have yet to be fulfilled. Well I'm sure you might be asking, what summer goals?!? aHA! That, my dear reader, is the point of this blog! HOORAY!! BLOGS HAVE THEMES AND POINTS!

-go workout: I think I got membership to the YMCA in like, the beginning of the year or something. At first, I was super excited-I thought, "I'm super busy during the school year, but after AP testing and finals are over, I am going to be SUPER LEAN and SUPER MEAN to the MACHINE. Well, summer is about 1/3rd gone, and have I gone to the Y? Not even once. I used to be scared that I would end up getting the old-lady butts from sitting in front of my computer for days, but now I sadly accept it.

-get a job: Well, it turns out that you have to start applying 1. before summer starts, and 2. when the economy is not in the crappers.

-have some nerf gun fun: So at all-nighter, we were ABOUT to do that, when I, in my fits of trying to be cool, decided to go Army-Ranger/Black Hawk Down status, and ended up bleeding on the church carpet. GREAT. Don't worry though, I learned my lesson: Army-Rangers never wear sandals. OORAH!

-clean!: you know that feeling you get when you haven't cleaned in a super long time and then you don't know what to do with all of the crap laying around? and then you decide to screw it all and make pancakes?

-fly a kite: if it was windy that would totally work, but I think the kite might burn if it gets too close to the sun.

-BLOG: hopefully this is a start of something (new! It feels so right, to be here with you, WOAHHH! yay hsm!!) and as long as I don't run into any bloggers block, I should be okay.

Sooooo

I hope everyone is having a SUPER SUMMER! Stay cool, freeze some grapes (no, really, you should try it), and get some F-U-N! Cliche, I know.

5/22/09

I think, today, when I thought of blogging, I knew what to say, but didn't really know how to start.  hm.

I used to wonder what my life would be like if I wasn't born into a Christian family.  I used to think that I would be, like, predestined for a conversion that ended with me converting a gajillion people or something relaated to that. 

Wrong. 

I think I might just end up being flippin turned off by Christianity.  I mean, so many other people are anyways.  They're sick and tired of us leading double lives-being a super thug at school while assuming a holier-than-thou idea by being role models and leaders at church.  And you know what? I am too.

I cannot help but feel utterly ashamed and disappointed at the people who are  role models at HOC5 (and other churches I guess but I don't really know since I haven't gone to other youth groups/churches in awhile) and talk about how God changed their week in these profound ways, lead worship like it's a recital or a concert, and, I don't know, but I think the picture is obvious-but at school and during the weekdays, they do things that would make you feel really surprised that they are regular church-goers. Now this applies to adults as well.  These kids have parents that serve at church, but it is just too obvious that they are only there to benefit for themselves. What happened to serving God as a unit? These people just piss me off so much that I'm not even surprised that HOC5 has such a low retention rate for people who graduate from high school. What a lack of genuinity.

I think it has gotten to the point where I am even too scared to invite people to my youth group or church because I am scared of them being so turned off by Christianity because of these people. I have not lost faith in my God, but I have definitely lost faith in my church. You know that statistic that say that half of all teens that regularly go to church/youth group don't even go during/after college? I wouldn't be surprised if, 10 years from now, I become part of that half.

I know that you're thinking, "Geez Ashley stop whining and DO something about it then." or "Oh, so you think you're perfect and therefore gets the right to judge us? Beezy pleez."

I would like to say I'm trying to find a solution or I'm trying to find the way between crazy zealot or total fake, but I can't.  The fact of the matter is, I'm probably as bad, if not worse, than all of those people I talked about above.  I know I'm a fatty hypocrite because, heck, I'm writing this huge rant about it right now! I don't do devotionals, I am really mean, and I swear when I'm super pissed.  I guess this whole thing stems from my own frustration and disgust at myself and my lack of motivation to change.

Crap. I don't even know how to end this. boo ramblings. now I really sound like a whiny blogger.

5/11/09

AP TESTS ARE DONE!! (for me)

Is this what being a second semester senior feels like? Because I certaintly feel like i can go party hearty.

My friend told me today that she would take another AP test to feel the relief that comes afterwards. I totally agree.

I saw on schoolloop that we're turning in our APUSH texts (bailey, degler, founding brothers, and APT) and I got really sad.  Is it bad if I get emotionally attatched to a class? Uh oh. Don't look at me during the last day of school in that class. Well, if you do, I suggest that you take a quick picture then blackmail me in 20 years.  I remember thinking, at the beginning of the year, that only nerds and asian freaks get attatched to classes.  I bought a pair of sunglasses at michaels and popped out the lenses to turn them into nerd glasses, and my last name is chen. HMM.

I realized that I haven't posted on this thingy for quite awhile now, and it's about time to get back into the groove of posting my nerd thoughts (of lack thereof).  But anyways, as an experiment, I want to try something new.  If you are reading this right now, leave a question in the comments section.  I'm pretty sure you don't have to have a blog to post at the bottom since it can be anonymous, so go post, reader!

4/10/09

BEST. BIRTHDAY. PRESENT. EVER.

right now it is chaos in the Chen household. Well, more like chaos for the Chen sisters.

SO basically, I get out of the shower and take a peek at my cell phone.  No calls, no texts, nada.  Just like it was for the past 6 hours.  I was holding onto my phone for dear life throughout the DECA fashion show set up, and was only able to forget about it, um, NEVER.   The only phone call I got was, "Hey, results will be at 10:30 the earliest. Bye."

LAME.

Anyways, I get out of the shower and, seeing no activity, decide to lotion my legs, because, hey, that is something that always takes up time right?? I guess...I now have very smooth legs :)

The minute I set up my laptop:

Angeline (ultimate spaz): AHHHHHOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGYESSSSSSSSSSSSYESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Me (doing the happy dance):

YES YES YES YES YES OMGGGGGGGGAGKEJHEALKJGHLEAJHGEALJGHLEA

this continues in bursts (one just happened).

I don't think this is extremely comprehensible, but I think it's because I can't concentrate. I have a slew of emotions flowing through me right now, but I think, all I want to do is sleep.

although I'm really happy, I really want to thank everyone that voted for me, but none of this would have been accomplished without Him. :) Now it's time to get down to business.

3/19/08

QUIZ TIME. whats this?

pro       mise

give up?? the answer is....

a broken promise. HAH.

Although you may think its a bad joke, it't actually an odd transition into a broken promise of what I thought was an unspoken promise of democratic processes in student government.

Basically, there was this guy and this gal, let's call them H and M (boy that kind of gives it away. it's okay, I'm not bashing them personally; I think they are rather cool peeps) who came up with an idea that would get rid of officer positions in ASB and class, which would result in what I percieve as a turn back to a popularity contest for elections.  But, like a true American, I thought, well, at least we can talk about it so maybe H and M can change their minds in a mature and democratic way.  

Ohhh no.

So today during Leadership, H says (in a nutshell), "OKAY we will have a discussion about this, but I've already decided in my mind." 

Cue the thoughts of Ashley.

Really? You've already decided? No offense, but that kind of sounds like a five-year old saying, "Green is the best color, and I don't care what you say to try and convince me otherwise (Although, no arguement there-green is the best color)."  I really do view this as a broken promise, because I signed up for a class that was called student government, and I'm pretty sure that it was implied that the "student government" was modeled after the American government, where democracy and equality reigns supreme, and not a dictatorship.   And the funny thing is, we actually spent 45 minutes discussing this, where we, the leadership kids, tried to point out our views.  But you know what? It didn't matter, because it was already decided by people who don't even participate in elections or getting their hands dirty with all of the responsibilites that ASB/class officers go through.

Ironically, after getting pissed off, I had to be interviewed for el estoque on an article that harped on how great Leadership was.  And during the whole interview, I couldn't help but wonder about the real motive behind this drastic change.  Our class is great; why fix what's not broken?  I don't see the effectiveness of changing for the sake of change.

I'm not adamantly opposed, but I want to see the real motives and a democratic decision by those who actually have to deal with the effects of this radical change.  The Leadership class is not a group of students that only deal with crap that is thrown at them.

(Because she requested it, Alice is the best club commission lead I have ever worked with :) )

--EDIT--

Kunalnal: i request to be placed in there as the coolest club commissioner that is not lead and is still good at nose goes

3/16/09

I finally got my license.  Hooray!

I find it oddly ironic that, once I get my license, I:

1. Refuse to drive by myself

2. Refuse to drive

and 3. Still think I have my permit.

Everytime my mom says, "Oh, you can just go by yourself to ______", my heart skips a beat and I see myself posing in front of a dented car and holding a through-the-roof insurance coverage  certificate. Ohhh the irony.

How do people do homework while watching tv? I can barely write a blog post with the tv on.  Maybe it's because it is, once again, the chinese channel.

Speaking of all things chinese, I went to go try on some chinese-style dresses for the SV DECA fashion show (I'm the emcee; not a model thank goodness-I think there is a height requirement for that job), and I realized that, by wearing those things, I would look EXACTLY like a waitress in a restaurant. A sign? quite possibly.  Maybe wearing a prom dress to the fashion show would look better...

Prom is in 2 weeks, and I still don't have plans for a dress, hair, makeup, or anything prom. Oh dear.

3/11/09

I realized that my favorite thing to ask people is:

"If you could eat anything edible in the world right now what would it be?"

Usually my answer is a thanksgiving dinner feast, from juicy white turkey breast meat (three slabs to be exact) with cranberry sauce, stuffing, mashed potatoes, carrots, corn on the cob, cornbread, and a dinner roll, with a slice of pumpkin pie for dessert. mmmm. FAT-tastic.

However, my answer is changing.  

I think, right now, I would say that I would like to eat hot from the waffle-maker chocolate chip belgian waffles.  Either that or salt-and-vinegar kettle chips. Oh, I just thought of one.  BBQ. Ohh man. I think barbequed whatever is the code for saying, "I'm a MAN who can't crush beer cans on my head but can make pigs delicious." So guys, learn the art of making a pig delicious, and the beer belly will automatically be handed to you.

My answer has changed again.  A bowl of Cinammon toast crunch cereal and milk. Or a warm chocolate chip cookie with milk. OR, OR, a taco from Mexico and some MANZANA LIFT.

Oh food. Why must you make my face bloated? Why must you be so delicious??

3/10/09

It's been awhile since I've posted something.  Oh well.

Honestly, I had something epic-ly genius to write about.  I thought of it last night before I went to sleep.  I remember it was something along the lines of States was bittersweet, yadda yadda, dance sucked. But, like many genius ideas that people think of before they fall asleep, it sounds stupid in the morning.  Hence, time for random ramblings.

But, before I do that, I'm going to try to achieve what I thought was a really good topic: DECA's State Career Development Conference.  Okay, number one, I do NOT see the "value added (haha Mr. Schmidt, I know you read this so you better laugh.)" in the Career part.  or the Development. or the Conference. Because I would say it's not any of those three. I'm pretty sure that the people who won in the COMPETITION, not conference, in whatever event, will not choose to work in that industry, like the blonde girl who won the automotive services event.  Can you imagine a steryotypical CA blonde getting grease and split ends?? Impossible.  

The dance really sucked too. And when I mean sucked, it sucked  hard. Now, I know, there are always the people that are optimistic and say, "Oh Ashley, you are such a pessimist. Look for the silver lining!" Alright. Well, the silver lining, I guess, would be the glint of the silver buckles of the security guards with sticks in their hands lining up around the perimeter of the dance floor.  Excuse, me, I meant social hall, because the usually rooms where the dance floors are not usually well lit.

I'm sure that was not how I wanted it to sound last night.  I remember telling myself NOT to come off as a whining blogger.  I think that's the easiest thing to do when writing on a blog, but too many people do that, and it tends to get boring.  But, I do tend to overindulge. Like today, I went to McDonalds for the second time this month, and consumed a whole McFlurry in less than 15 minutes.  I can hear my mother now, "Ashley, your face looks poofy.  Did you eat something bad today? Come eat some bell peppers."  I actually stopped eating bell peppers every day now.  Maybe that's why my face looks bloated.  In any case, that McFlurry was delicious.

Snow Retreat (2/14-2/17)

Now, I know there will be lots of posts of summaries of Snow Retreat, what parts were the best, inside jokes that nobody gets, and how it was just non-stop snow the whole time.  I do have my share of those memories, but I think I would rather share about the emotional impact that this retreat had on me.  So, if you were looking for a funny and shallow view of how I spent my President's Day weekend, look somewhere else.

"Lord Jesus come lead us
We're desperate for your touch"-Reign In Us, Starfield

I would have to say that I was not at all prepared for any spiritual revival, because, honestly, I had become apathetic to Christianity, disgusted at the church I attended, and hardend at the "feel-good" emotional highs and lows that come after the retreat which usually last a week.  It was weird too, that ever since the Leadership development day with Cross the Line, I wondered why I never cried unless it was out of frustration. At first, I commended myself for professionally hiding my emotions, because I was honing myself to be a great corporate executive, and therefore, didn't really need God's touch to change my life, because, hey, it seemed to me that my life was in pretty good order. So when I did go to snow retreat, I did not have any expectations (except that registration was going to kick butt).  

 

I think I can honestly say that I shed more tears throught this snow retreat than I have in months.  It ranged from tearing up to a full blown sobbing, I want my mommy kind of deal.  And I think that each tear that I shed was a piece of the wall of ambition that I built up against God and his ability to break me and make me something new.  Although I would not call this whole retreat "life-changing", I definitely know what it means to earnestly seek God and hear his voice.

To non-Christians, I hope I didn't freak you out.  I am not perfect, and already know that I will do something that makes you think that Christians are all hypocrites.  I sincerly apologize in advance, as well as instances that have happened in the past. I pray that you will just have an open heart, and just give this whole Christianity deal another look.  For believers of Jesus, I pray that God may break you.  Even if it takes a lot of pruning and pain, always remember that God will always be near you, and if you seek Him, it is the most rewarding and humbling experience that you will ever go through. 

2 Corinthians 5:13-15

I hope this works. If it doesnt, check out this link:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dohj2QAdzs

2/3/09

I think my parents have come down with something.  I'm not sure what it is (possibly a virus), so I am going to classify the possible "thing" as an Ashley Chen biological discovery!!

Potatous-Couchius (virus)

From the family of: Lazyoploious

Symptoms:

-Influx of asian snacking. This includes: Sunflower seeds, asian chips, seaweed that you ate when you were a kid for snacks, smoked tofu, Oranges, Apples, Pumalo (left to ripen after being bought for Chinese New Year), Bell Pepper, Cucumber, and Toast.

-Lack of interest for surroundings. Yesterday, I asked them if I could watch HEROES because apparently the episode was freakin' awesome.  Here is the conversation (duly recorded):

"Ummm Mom can I watch a tv show that starts, like, now?"

"It's recorded, don't worry about it."  Now, Mom is actually watching a recorded show herself, and obviously does not want to be bothered.

"Oh, okay. When are you going to be done?"

"Don't you have homework to do? You ARE a junior, you know, and junior year...*goes into a schpeal about junior year that has been heard many times*"  See? You can tell-her underlying meaning is : DON'T BOTHER ME. Now, Dad is there too, munching away at his...whatever he eats. I wouldn't know, since they all seem to disappear after he touches them...

"No, Mom. I meant WHEN WILL YOU BE FINISHED??"

"Ohh humm...*long pause* 11, at the earliest?" GREAT.

Lack of interest for physical movement (this includes looking at screens that are NOT televisions).  For example, today...

"Mommmm can you come here?" (repeated 2-3 times)

"WHAT. I'm already sitting down on the couch." (Well, I'm already sitting down on my chair looking at my computer, but due to the lack of interest in surroundings symptom, it is not taken into account)

*After finally getting up to go show off my wonderful find (kudos to Brad)*

"See? Don't you like this car? It's so pretty! Look! And it's only $2800(slight movement of the eyes)"

"Why would I want to pay for a car that is $28,000? What's wrong with our car now?"

"Mom, it's $2800."

"EVEN WORSE! Do you want a car that breaks down all of the time?!? Don't you have homework to do? You know, junior year..."

Cures

None. Unless you disconnect the asian news channel, asian historical fiction dramas, korean soap operas (translated into chinese of course), and the Jim Cramer, the Mad Money guy.

Is it transferrable within species?

Not unless they watch the channels listed above.

Now, I'm not saying that I hate my parents. I think they're great. But of course, we all like to poke fun at them in order to make ourselves feel better about ourselves (but, in the end, does not work, so don't try it because the wrath of infected parents will rain down upon you).  So, my solution? Crack open a pack of AMERICAN snack foods, and prepare to fight your way to the lovely remote.

Gosh, I sure hope this ends up in the Encyclopedia Britannica. Or a Nobel Prize.  That would be good too.

1/31/09 (2/1/09)

GAckk.

once again, I fail to write a blog post in time. ITS OKAY. I think that was because Saturday was filled with MANY eventful...um...events.  This involves:

-falling down a rail (I was trying to slide down it on my butt but I think my excitement made me tip over. Anyways this ended up with a fatty bruise on my knee and utter humiliation for the next 2 minutes.)

-Longboarding to MV from my house 

I think that can be summed up in 2 brief conversations:

Me: Um Mom I kind of have to go to MV for a DECA study session at 11

Mom: Um we're leaving right now, so figure it out! Don't get hurt!

Me: WTHECK IS WRONG WITH THIS STUPID BIKE AAJGEHALJGAGHELJRHG

Angeline: I guess you can longboard.

Me: UPHILL?!?!

-Seeing a VERY awesome powerpoint on relationships. aheehee. This was after being lured and baited to do multiple things, such as going outside to "learn how to longboard" according to Alice, deciding which member of the Rascal Flatts band is the hottest, and thumb wars.

-Getting into a VERY awesome relationship. (http://mrwongderekful.blogspot.com/) Quite the merger.

CUE DRAMATIC WRAP UP SENTENCE! 

heroes new season tomorrow! yay.

1/27/09

Hey Leadership kiddos! This post is for you.

I remember when I got into the leadership class, I was still pretty conflicted-with leadership, I would have seven classes in junior year.  I felt pretty ready to drop the class and go on with my life, but, for some reason, I stuck with it.   Throughout the year I felt that I got to know a lot of people, but I knew it was still pretty superficial.  Today's leadership development just showed me how little I know about this whole class, each individual, and myself.  I realized that I was so caught up in my own little world and I was SO sheltered.  It was insane.  I know I didn't cry, but it really broke my heart, knowing that you guys have been through so much more than I had, and yet, I had placed myself at a higher priority than all y'alls.  I love you guys so much, and I know I made the right decision sticking with Leadership 08-09.

1/24/09 (1/25/09)

Sometimes I feel like the epitome of the word "loser" when I go through experiences and I immediately think, "OMGSH I HAVE to put that in my blog", spend the next two hours planning what I'm going to write, and then, when I get home, not write the blog until midnight, forget what I was going to write about in the first place, and end up thinking that I am already losing enough sleep as it is and have better go to sleep now or suffer the consequences.  Anyways, the point is: I have a good story.  But first, bask in my prowess of procrastination. 

Yesterday was my second (hopefully last) SAT. The first time I took it, I remember entering a room feeling quite naive and insignificant in comparison to those meany seniors with their hooded, single-color sweatshirts, looking as if they were going to shank somebody if he/she with their glares of hate. I don't know, but it was pretty intimidating.  So I know what you're thinking. The January SAT would be the same thing. Ohhh no. Not so, my lovely little blog-reader.  When I got into that room, I felt so white-washed. I was like a twinkie: yellow on the outside, white on the inside.  It was INSANE. The room was filled with those asian fobs that think that reading naruto is for losers because 1) it is for n00bz, 2) why read that crap when you can read, something AUTHENTICALLY JAPANESE (when you aren't japanese because your last name is freaking ching, chen, chao, chu etc.) and 3) it's not fobby enough.  And don't think that it was just for the girls, because there were guys that were EQUALLY ANNOYING! Here is an example (I'm not kidding, you can ask any chang-chiou who took the SATs at prospect):

Proctor: Is everyone done filling out your test ID?

Lame fobby guy who was from Lynbrook and is in concert choir and dares to brag about it: UH NO HEH HEH HEH (what he really means is : I'm so cool because I'm pretending like I can't even fill in numbers correctly but I'm still going to take the SAT and score a 2400 and all of my friends can read in between my stupid laughs and think-ohh what a cool guy since he wears his concert choir sweatshirt and khakis pants that are wayyy too tight for him all the time.)

And, on top of that, one of them GOT ME SICK. great.

Now, I'm not trying to bash on people from lynbrook, or fobby people, or guys who think they're cool when they only look really lame.  While I was doing my SAT, I couldn't help think about what other people thought of me when I entered the room.  Maybe they thought, "WOW what a weird person what was she thinking when she put on a Leadership sweatshirt and MV sweatpants with paint on the butt?? WHAT. A. LOSER."  It's interesting to see how we are all connected in these insignificant ways, but also separated.  It's as if we live in our own little bubble, making strangers obsolete, when, really, they're part of another bubble.  I think I'm rambling a bit, since I kind of forgot my carefully planned outline (as is what usually happens with my blog ideas), so cue anticlimatic ending!!

Oh, btw, happy chinese new year.

1/20/09

It has been a little more than 2 weeks since my last post.  How sad. Aren't blogs supposed to be, like, diaries or something, where people post on it religiously and document every single moment of their entire lives? 

oops.

Well anyways, it has been super encouraging seeing the number of people that actually look at my blog.  I saw that there have been almost 50! I don't know if some of them read it out of pity for me (ohh look at Ashley isn't she cute, writing her own blog and trying to grow a chimney), or out of pure reverence for my awesome, but whatever.  It's actually kind of weird to see that people care about my ramblings, but, I think its pretty important to make sure that I'm not writing this for an audience of like, 50 (or 3, which would be the actual number of people who read every single one of my posts) but more for an audience, of, well, me.  That way, I won't second guess myself on my lame jokes that is only funny to me and ridiculously lame to others (it makes them laugh because I'm so pathetic, right?).

Sometimes I find myself thinking about good blog topics, like how German is quite possibly the coolest awkward language in the world (with their schliden schnlargen bhargen beer weinerschnitzel oktober fest but the UBER messed up spelling, or how I tried to sneak out but let my mom know and then ended up NOT sneaking out, or how when someone talks about blogs I say, "I have a blog!" but only to be shot down with the phrase, "uh. You only have 2 posts."

ummmmm.

Most of the time my inspiration is like that.  

No worries though, I think I'm going to try doing this from now on instead of playing blockes on iminlikewithyou or watching lame videos of indian guys getting beat up by other indian guys (look it up, it's actually pretty funny-search: how can she slap indian).

the night before I do my internship hw or actual hw...

ummmm.

I think I'm going to go play blockles now.

1/1/09

Happy New Year!

Actually, why do people even care? Honestly, I think that its just another celebration for people to get cheery about. like boxing day. What were those people thinking when they thought of that idea?? I mean, come on, you honestly think you can top a celebration on the day before? decked out with gifts and spending of money? no.

So anyways, I wanted to start off the new year with, hey what do you know, something that fits my new years resolution!! Yay, feeling productive.  I don't think this blog really has a theme or whatever; I think I'm just going to list some of my New Years Resoultions.

Go JOGGING-Every year I list this one.  I think it's because I know that in six months people are going to start looking at my tummy, and I certainly do NOT want them to see flabby lard.  I've also heard of something called a runner's high. Wonder what that is...

Stop Thinking I'm older than I actually am- I think, when I hang out with my 09er buds, I feel that I'm going to college in six months too, so I subconciously think I have college apps to return to when I get home, but instead of college apps, I have College Board. Curse you. 

Devos-I even committed to writing devotions for Snow Retreat, but, after doing that, I realized that um, I haven't even done devos in, like, 2 months.  I think,  at first, it was because I would do them at night before I went to bed, I didn't want my "school knowledge" that I studied to leak out of my brain.  Maybe if I did them right after school.  I heard that statistics show that more information is retained when it is the last thing that is studied before sleeping.  I also heard that you can get cancer from just about anything, and not even a plastic bubble will save you, because some types of plastics leech cancer-inducing toxins.  

Neosporin-This isn't really a new years resolution, but more of a great idea.  If I bring Neosporin with me everywhere, maybe I'll stop getting so many infections from my stupid accidents!  During finals, I got a carpet burn from playing Spoons, and that freaking thing got infected!  Neosporin could have averted that.

So that's all of them for now (more like all that I could remember)! Happy New Year!!